Many people know what a soulmate is, but how can you tell if you’re with yours? First let’s define the word soulmate. The first time the word is used in literature was in 1850 in a book called Love Affairs, Or, How a Flirt was Caught in His Own Trap. This is how the author defines the word, “I found my soul-mate. I felt it in my inmost soul. I could be happy with no other.” Now let’s look at how modern society defines this word in Urban Dictionary, “A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.” When we look at the two definitions it doesn’t seem like much has changed over time. Yet this word “soulmate” has always been there. Now some people can roll their eyes at the thought of a soulmate, but others will swear it up and down because they have found theirs.
So I’d like to make things clear for everyone involved in the dating world. Those of us who are with our soulmates, those that think we are, and those of us who have never believed in the imaginary picture that we all have one person perfect out there for us.
This is the person who found you at the exact time you gave up on dating, stopped looking, thought you’d be happier alone.
When we expect the least seems to be the moment everything else falls into place. The story is the same for every happy couple, just ask. We expect so much out of life that we are constantly criticizing every possible situation up until the point where we throw our hands up and say, “I give up, I’m taking time to focus on myself.” Honestly that time usually won’t last very long if your truly committed to it. Usually some boy/girl comes walking into your life just when you finally think your happiest, and your whole world gets turned upside down. Turned upside down in a good way for the first time ever. This time it’s different then all the others.
This person is like no one you have ever dated before.
We can all admit (I’m not just talking about girls) we tend to fall into a pattern of dating the same kinds of duchebags, unfixable, cheaters, clingy (well you get the point) type of people. They all seem different at the beginning, but in the end each relationship ends for the same reason. This is not the case when you find your soulmate. They will be the person who has every good quality you fall for (in those bad relationships) and never have the bad ones. Seriously, this person will blow your mind with how opposite they are of that one specific thing that always killed your previous relationships. You had commitment issues in previous relationships, now all the sudden you trust her/him so much the thought doesn’t cross your mind when they say “I’m going out.”
They know you better than your best friend, therefore better than you know yourself.
This one is mostly for the females. It’s hard to admit it. This is the truth though, we grow up our whole lives thinking no one understands us like our best friend. Well behold your soulmate! You two will finish each other sentences, know what the other one is craving, pick up the phone as the other is calling (before it has a chance to ring), can pick up on each others emotional waves, and even know the right times to say or not say something. You can tell each other anything. It is more than a friendship it’s a union of two becoming one. And you have been this open with each other since day one.
They challenge you in all the right ways.
We have had challenging relationships in the past, but they never seemed to work. The reason was because they were challenging in the wrong ways. Challenging someone in the right way, means you want them to succeed. The difficult times build the relationship stronger rather than create cracks in it. Most of the time you’re pushing each other in the direction of greatness because you can both see how great the other one is, and all you want is for them to be exactly that. This is someone who will constantly push you to be the best version of you, and you will find yourself doing the same to them.
You fall in love with something new every day.
RED FLAG #1. If you think you have found your soulmate and this last one does not apply to you, you have not found them. This is truthful, I have gotten testimony’s from multiple people. The feeling of falling in love everyday is magical. You appreciate each other. You can find passion in each other. You never lose that spark. You never get bored with them. You always have conversation. And you can’t imagine a single day without them.
Still not convinced? If you have not experienced this, one day you will. Be open to the idea. Be open to finding that one person who was put on this Earth for you. Each person in our life was meant to play a role. That means your soulmate is out there, and their role is to bring endless love, happiness, laughter, a shoulder to cry on and so much more.
By: Holly Kravetz