Why You Should #BreakUpWithTinder

content warning:
this post contains offensive & aggressive sexual language

In response to recent complaints regarding experiences of sexual harassment on Tinder, the app’s co-founder, Sean Rad, justifies these occurrences, saying that men simply “don’t know what to do” in order to get women’s attention.

        What? That is all kinds of f***ed up.


Let’s make something clear: harassment is never an okay strategy to get attention. From anyone. Ever.

Not only is Rad making online predators sound like naïve, innocent people who aren’t receiving the attention they ‘deserve’, but he is also giving them an undeserved “get out of jail free” card for misogynistic, sexist behavior.

“Boys will be boys” is not an acceptable excuse. Women are getting objectified, harassed, stalked, and threatened online every single day at “disproportionately high levels” and in “particularly severe forms” when compared with their male counterparts, according to a recent Pew study on online harassment (Pew)

By saying that the abusers are not responsible for their actions via ignorance, Rad is forgiving these behaviors. And by taking a passive stance, he is allowing this predatorial environment to continue to be unsafe for women.

POP QUIZ, which one(s) of these are acceptable ways to interact with another human being?

     A.)   Unsolicited, non-consensual pictures of your dick.
     B.)   Sexually demeaning/aggressive questions & comments
     (e.g. “has anyone ever cum on your tits before?”)
     C.)    Rape threats
     (e.g. “we’re going to have sex because I’m stronger than you”)
     D.)    None of the above

The answer is D.


“But, men don’t know any other way to get women’s attention!”

As Sonya Davis, founder and CEO of Neqtr/badass feminist entrepreneur put it, “That’s complete B.S.”

There are plenty of good-hearted, kind men who aren’t being represented on Tinder and other dating sites, or are being drowned out by the noise of the Tinder Bros. With regards to the sexual harassment, though, Davis is saying, “enough is enough – you don’t have to put up with that treatment.” To protest Tinder’s inaction, Neqtr, a socially-conscious connection app, has launched its #BreakUpWithTinder campaign to empower and encourage women (and men) to stop supporting Tinder.

The other goal of the campaign is to bring to light alternatives and to “start the discussion about the female experience” online says Neqtr Marketing Manager, Mariela De La Mora. “Until now, dating apps have been largely built from the male perspective. Not only are many of the major dating apps founded by men, many of them are owned by the same company. Match now owns Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and OKCupid.” This is dangerous, De La Mora adds, because it means that “abusers can more easily skip from one platform to another.”

Neqtr has created a safe haven, where amazing people can meet their potential partners and friends — and where they won’t have to worry about being harassed, thanks to the app’s multiple safeguarding elements.

To get involved in the campaign, submit your worst online pickup lines (Tinder or otherwise) to www.breakupwithtinder.com, or start the conversation on Twitter using the hashtag #BreakUpWithTinder.


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